your questions... and some answers
If
you have an urgent question, or want to talk to someone,
see our help! pages
for phone helplines. There are some fantastic web sites
and on-line mags for
teenagers, which will have answers for you, too
Do
you have questions about sexual health? here are some that young people have
asked. If
you want to ask PALS a question of your own, then e-mail us. We won't put
your question on this page unless you say it's OK...that's a promise!
Is
it true you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex? Or if you have a
period?
You
can get pregnant any time you have sex without using a reliable contraceptive,
and you
could catch an infection too.
I'm
15 and my girlfriend's 14...
The legal 'age of consent' is 16 for both of you, but prosecutions for having
sex under these
ages are very rare as long as both of you consent and there is no exploitation
or abuse. And
even if you are under 16, you have the right to confidential advice about sex
and contraception.
You can go to a family planning clinic or sexual health clinic and get free
condoms, even if you
are under the legal age of consent... don't worry, you won't be in trouble.
My
friends all have girlfriends but I'm not interested? Am I gay? I'm worried!
Lots of boys aren't interested in girls at
your age. This doesn't mean you are gay, although
there's nothing wrong with being gay and you shouldn't worry about it. About
1 in 10 people are
gay, so there's probably at least one gay guy in your class. If you have sexual
feelings towards
other boys then maybe you are gay or bisexual.. But you probably just aren't
ready for an
emotional or sexual relationship yet. Just get on with enjoying life and having
lots of friends -
boys and girls.
Take a look at our gay info page for more information,
or see the help! page
for useful phone numbers.
I'm
on the pill, so I'm safe, aren't I?
The
pill is very good at preventing pregnancy but no protection at all against infections.
Use
a condom as well, and keep both of you safe. For more info, see our safer
sex page.
I
just don't want to have sex with my boyfriend yet. Is there something wrong
with me?
No! Maybe you're not ready... or maybe he isn't the right guy for you. If he
really cares about you
he shouldn't pressurise you into sex - you don't have to have sex to 'prove'
your love. Don't start
just because you think you should, or because you think other people are all
'doing it'. If and
when you do want a sexual relationship, make sure you protect yourself against
infections and
pregnancy - see safer sex
Is
oral sex OK?
Depends by what you mean by OK. A girl can't get pregnant through oral sex,
but either of you
could catch an infection from the other.
My
friend is 14 but her boyfriend is a lot older
- I'm worried about her
You don't say how much older. If he's an adult, he is committing a serious offence
if they are
having sex or even preparing or 'grooming' the girl to have sex. Technically
he is committing
child abuse. She is not committing any offence - abuse is never the fault of
the person being
abused. You say you're worried, try to get her to seek help, such as calling
one of the helplines
on our help! page.
I'm
gay, but I don't want my friends to know
There's nothing wrong with
you and nothing wrong with being gay. But it can be very hard to
come out, especially somewhere like mid-Wales where there is no real gay scene
and where
too many people are still prejudiced. Talk to someone who knows how you feel
- see our gay info
page for more information, see our help! page for some
useful phone numbers, or our web links
for details of some great gay youth websites.
My
boyfriend doesn't like using a condom - but I'm worried about getting AIDS
Maybe
he's embarrassed or not sure about putting a condom on. You could help - make
putting
the condom on, part of your sexual foreplay... it can be fun to try different
colours and flavours (yes!).
It's very unlikely you'll get HIV (the virus that can lead to AIDS) but there
are many other infections
that are very common among young people - so keep trying with those condoms.
Young people in Powys can get free condoms from family planning clinics
or from Sorted!
- a sexual health project run by Powys youth service. Ask your local youth leader.
I've
only had sex once, so I can't have caught an infection, can I?
Your boyfriend or girlfriend might have an infection which they don't even know
about. If in doubt
get yourself checked out (and try and persuade your partner to get checked out
too) at a GU clinic.
I've
heard about drinks being 'spiked' - what does it mean?
'Spiked'
is when someone adds something - alcohol or a drug - to your drink without you
knowing
. Usually your drink won't look, smell or taste any different. A spiked drink
can make you feel sick
or dizzy or even pass out. Your friend might have sone it for a 'laugh' but
it's not funny. Someone
could take advantage of you or even assault you sexually without you being able
to resist.
Stay safe...
>> Don't accept drinks from strangers.
>> Don't let your drink leave your sight - even for a few seconds.
>> Tell your friends or bar staff if you even just think you've
been spiked - ask to be taken home
Where's
my nearest sexual health, family planning or GU clinic?
There's
a list of local clinics on our help! page, as well as
many numbers you can call for advice
or information. Or you can phone
nhs direct
on 0845 46 47
for details
of clinics near you.
contact us: pals po box 24 llandrindod wells tel 0845 223 5209